I read a book a few years ago entitled The Joy of Living. Actually, I think I still have it somewhere, stuffed away in one of my bookshelves. To be honest with you I don’t remember much about the book itself. Just that it was written by a Buddhist monk and had something to do with living a happy life.

What I do remember, though, are the reactions I received from others. Basically, they ranged from laughter to more laughter. Every now and then someone would elaborate that life is, in actuality, nothing but suffering and misery.

Life is nothing but suffering and misery….What a sad belief to have! What a sad life comes from this belief!

How many happy people have you seen wandering around saying, “life is miserable” or “we are here to suffer”. None. Zero. Zilch. Of course they wouldn’t believe this nonsense to be true. If they did, they would immediately be sad and miserable, like everyone else who believes this.

What do you expect from your life? Do you expect to suffer, fail, and be miserable? That is what you will get. Exactly what you expected. Nothing more, and nothing less. Such is the way it works.

The goal of this article is to give you joy. More accurately, it is to help you discover joy and happiness. But first I must ask, is this what you want? Do you truly want to be happy?

This is an important question here, as the answer will determine your success.

Living on Love

Love is a cause, and joy is the effect. The more you love, the more joyful you will become. Think about it. Are you happy when you are doing something you love? Are you happy when you have or get something you love? Are you happy when you are around people you love? Sure you are. It is all because there is love there.

Let’s take this a step further. Think about all the times you aren’t happy. Are you doing something you don’t like? Are you around people you hate? Did you lose something or someone that you love? In all of these situations, there is no love. And so there is no joy.

Since love is joy, it logically follows that the more love you have, the more joy you’ll have. Increasing your capacity and amount of love, then, is the key to having more joy.

As a concept this is pretty simple to grasp. Love = joy. More love = more joy. But in order to truly understand it, and really see the benefits, you have to put it into practice on a daily basis. This is the part that is easier said than done. But it can be done. You just need to…

Learn to Love

Loving people can be difficult at times. Especially those good for nothing teenagers down by the… Oh, wait, there I go again. I still have trouble with this part myself. But you always have choices to make.

You can choose to hate someone. You can choose to hate your life, your job, your [Insert Here], etc. And of course, you can justify your hatred for anything in whatever manner you want. You can even make stuff up if you want. This person cheated on me. This person fired me. I don’t make enough money, etc, etc. Or you can choose to love people. You can choose to love your life, your job, etc.

Regardless of what you choose, your mind will provide justifications for your choice. If you choose to hate someone, you will automatically see the worst in them. You will see all of their flaws, their imperfections, and their failures. If you choose to love someone, you will automatically see the best in them. You will see what makes them special, what makes them stand out, the good in them, etc.

It’s almost like you’re sending out little vibes. If you choose to hate your situation, you are effectively saying, “show me the ugly, the starved, the cruel, and the hatred.” If you choose to love your situation, you are effectively saying, “show me the beautiful, the good, the perfect, etc.” And of course, the world shows you what you want to see.

These are the only two options you have. Either there is love there, or there is not. One of the choices results in happiness, the other results in misery. You decide which is right for you.

Feeding the Flame

I like to think of love as a flame. It is a flame that never truly gets put out. You can block it, you can run away from it, and you can stomp on it until it is smaller than an ant. But you will never put it out completely. It is still there, in everyone.

Once you learn how to love, you need to learn how to make it grow and make it unconditional. In every aspect of your life, in every relationship that you have, in every moment of your life, you should love it with all that you are and all that you have.

Similar to a muscle, the more you love, the more you will be capable of love. It is like, your love grows more the more you use it. And thus, so does your personal experience of joy and well-being.

In order to make it grow, you need to make it unconditional. By making it unconditional, you will love a greater amount of things and people. Eventually, it will become more of like a lovingness feeling that will accompany you everywhere you go.

There are a few tips for “feeding the fire”, so to speak.

1. Be grateful. If you are grateful for the people and things in your life it will make it easier for you to love and appreciate them.

2. See the beauty and perfection in everything. By seeing the perfection in everything and everyone it will be easy to admire them and love them for who they are.

3. Love life itself. If you just love life in general, then you will likely remain “happy go lucky” for the rest of your life, regardless of your environment.

Overcoming Obstacles

At times it can be really hard to be happy. You just don’t feel good, someone upset you, etc, etc. Unless you’re Jesus, Buddha, etc, you’re almost certain to run into obstacles along the way.

Obstacles come in many forms. They could be hidden beliefs or prejudices that steal your joy. For example, you may have been raised believing that rich people are evil. Whenever you are around a rich person, then, you may hate them for it. And in turn, you will be miserable, and you will lose your joy.

It’s important to work through these obstacles. In reality, they are growth opportunities. Once you overcome them, you will be much happier because you will be that much more capable of love.

Love has a strong tendency to bring about it’s opposite as well. By attempting to love someone, you may realize that you’ve actually hated them for a long time. Whatever the reason, or “justification”, for your hatred is it’s important to work through it. You may discover that you actually have a lot of hidden issues that you need to work through. Remember that even if something is popular doesn’t mean that it is right. Just because your neighbor kicks the stray dog doesn’t mean you should also.

External Factors

While the primary cause of joy (love) exists inside of you, external conditions can also effect your subjective experience of joy and well being. It would be silly to state otherwise, as anyone who has taken any kind of drug or medication can readily attest to this. The primary external things which effect your joy and sense of well-being will primarily be your diet, sleep patterns, exercise, and relationships. I’ll touch on these briefly with what works for me, but keep in mind that what is best for you could be completely different.

Diet

Go drink a few cups of coffee and you’ll see that what you put into your body will also affect your mind. Some people claim this to a greater or lesser extent, and some people go to the extreme with juice feasting and all raw diets and whatnot. The raw diet is claimed by many to give them a sense of “emotional high” throughout the day. However, since I don’t have any experience with these diets, I can’t really comment on them. Generally, I would consider these things to be “healthy” and thus should promote your happiness and well-being.

1. Whole wheat bread

2. Rice, grains, etc.

3. Fruits

4. Vegetables

5. Seeds and Nuts

Generally, I would also avoid these things:

1. Drugs

2. Alcohol

3. Tobacco

4. Preservatives and other ‘non-food’ that often gets put into your food/drink.

5. Excessive amounts of sugar (pop, candy).

6. Excessive amounts of fatty food (dairy, candy).

7. Excessive amounts of red meat. (steak, beef)

8. Excessive amounts of caffeine. (coffee

Of course, the definition of ‘excessive’ is completely up to you.

Sleep

Don’t get too much sleep, too little sleep, or sleep around too much. You may wind up with kids you don’t know about.

Exercise

In general I wouldn’t stress exercise too much. Just make sure you do something to get your heart beat going for about 30 minutes everyday or else you may start suffering from a lack of energy and/or depression.

Relationships

It’s a common belief that you will become like the people you spend the most time with. I don’t know if this is true or not, but if you’re hanging out with someone you’d definitely not want to be like, perhaps you should take this into consideration.

Also, I’ve read studies that say that married people are generally happier and live longer. Again, I can’t say if this is true for you or not, but if you’re miserable being single, perhaps you should give it a shot and see.

Share the Love

Happiness is perhaps the one thing in life that increases when you share it. By being loving and joyous around someone , you not only increase your own joy, but you increase theirs as well. It’s a win win situation. Now go out and share the love!

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